Undyne and Papyrus' Royal Restaurant
by Kalcifier
Summary: Frisk decides that Chara needs to interact with people outside their family, and ends up getting them both jobs at Undyne and Papyrus' new restaurant. Only good things happen as a result.
1. Chapter 1

You're awoken by a horrible beeping noise and for a moment, you are prepared to stab whatever is making it. Then you wake up further and realize that if anyone deserves a stabbing, it's Frisk, the reason you're up so early. And since Frisk is one of the few people you can actually tolerate most of the time, it looks like there will be a disappointing lack of stabbings.

With that settled, you finally set about turning off the actual alarm. You savor the warm bed for a moment longer before finally dragging yourself to the closet.

You get dressed mechanically and stagger into the kitchen. Frisk is making themself cereal, their movements already fluid in contrast to your stumbling. You think it's grossly unfair that Frisk has both physical and social graces, but then you already knew that Frisk was the good sibling. (And Asriel of course, but he exists outside your weird duality. Asriel is still mostly untainted by your fucked-up self image, and you'll do anything in your power to keep things that way.)

Frisk shoves a bowl of cereal in your direction. "You were taking too long, so I got breakfast ready for you," they sign. "Don't expect this every day, though. You can make figuring out how to pour your own cereal one of your goals for this experiment."

You stick your tongue out at them. "There's a goal for this? I assumed you just wanted to get back at me for something. Probably last week, even though I already apologized like twenty times."

Frisk is not distracted by your extremely smooth change of subject. "No, this will be good for you! If you interact with more people, maybe you'll be able to see that most of them are better than you think." They notice that their gestures are getting wild and calm themself down. "Besides, this will give you more money to spend on your terrible anime or whatever."

You blush, though only someone who knows you well can tell. "I'm not that into anime," you mumble through a mouthful of cereal. "And you're one to talk. You actually enjoyed Mew Mew Kissy Cutie."

Frisk shrugs agreeably, picking up their spoon as if to signal the end of the conversation. You're tempted to keep going, to try to rile Frisk up further, but if the whole point of this ridiculousness is to help you get along with people intentionally annoying your sibling before you leave the house is probably counterproductive.

Toriel comes in just as Frisk finishes their cereal. She takes both their bowl and yours to the sink, taking a moment to ruffle your hair as she passes. "Are you excited, my children?" she asks.

Frisk nods, and after a moment so do you. You're still not sold on the idea, but that's your problem. Worrying your mother over it would be pointless.

Toriel smiles. "I am glad," she says. "Are you ready to go, then?"

When you both nod again, Toriel grabs her keys and the three of you climb into her car. Unlike Asgore's car, which is designed to impress, Toriel's car is smaller and more utilitarian. You find it unpleasantly cramped when everyone tries to pile in, though of course Frisk loves it. But today it's just the three of you, which is much more tolerable.

You're still a little miffed that Asriel gets to sleep in, though. It's summer vacation! You should be asleep too, not getting dragged off to deal with ridiculously energetic morning people. This whole thing is just an evil plot to make you look forward to school, you're sure of it.

But you can't say no to Frisk, so all you can do now is try to prepare yourself. "Do you have any idea what to expect?" you ask Frisk.

"Not really," Frisk signs. "Undyne said she'd find jobs for us. She probably won't let us in the kitchen, so maybe we'll wait tables or something."

Wonderful. People are well know for treating servers with respect and kindness. "That makes sense," you say slowly. "Do you think she's managed to make Papyrus into a decent cook by now?"

Frisk swats your arm. "You know he's been improving. I'm sure his food is delicious."

You figure that's all you're going to get out of Frisk on the subject of the job, so you let yourself get drawn into banter about Papyrus' cooking skills and whether Undyne is a qualified teacher.

Eventually the car pulls into a parking lot. You look out to see a building proclaiming itself to be "Undyne and Papyrus' Royal Restaurant". The name is kind of silly, but given the people running it you're surprised that's all.

You turn to Frisk, who seems almost relieved. They notice your questioning glance and explain, "It looks like Sans convinced them to start out in a normal building. For a while, Undyne was talking about trying to make the restaurant look like a fish."

"... Aren't they mostly a pasta restaurant?" you ask.

"Yeah, but according to Undyne 'Fish are cool.'"

Sadly, that sounds like Undyne. You know better than to question her eccentricities at this point, so you just start walking toward the restaurant. As you approach, you notice a sign in one of the windows. "YOU OBSERVE THE FANCY-LOOKING RESTAURANT," it says. "WHO COULD WORK HERE, YOU PONDER... I BET IT IS THAT VERY FAMOUS MASTER CHEF! (NOTE: NOT YET A VERY FAMOUS MASTER CHEF.)"

Huh. You aren't sure if Papyrus is referencing the show or just his own dreams, but either way you have to admire his conviction. Even if that admiration is buried under exasperation at his refusal to use lowercase letters.

Frisk seems uninterested in the note, so you decide to stop stalling and just get this over with. You open the door for them with a mocking bow, then follow them in.


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as you get inside, you are met by Undyne and Papyrus. They're as disgustingly energetic as ever, despite the hour. They also seem very pleased with themselves, so you're immediately suspicious.

"Greetings, children!" Papyrus says. Frisk waves, and he moves to mimic the motion before realizing that he's hiding something behind his back. The overall effect is reminiscent of a bizarre line dance.

Undyne seems impatient with him, or possibly the world at large, though that is admittedly her default state. "I had a speech planned, but since this bonehead is going to ruin the surprise if I don't hurry, let me just show you." She thrusts her hands out to reveal a t-shirt. "Just know that it would have been awesome and you would have loved it."

It takes you a moment to realize there are words on the shirt, and another to decode them. Eventually, you decide that it says "Welcome to the Royal Restaurant! How many people are in your party?" You're not sure, though, as the words are overlaid on a ridiculous image. It seems to be a skull over a pair of crossed spears, which are in turn above a plate of spaghetti.

You tear your eyes from the travesty of a shirt. Undyne and Papyrus are leaning in, watching your reaction eagerly, so you approximate a smile. You figure that alienating your bosses before you start working will hardly do you any favors. Besides, smiling is one of your best (only) social skills.

Even so, you can feel your smile crack as you look at the shirt. Fortunately, Frisk provides a distraction by emoting wildly. "Is this for me?" they ask.

Papyrus nods enthusiastically. "We wanted to make sure you could help customers who can't sign, so we made this especially for you."

You heave a sigh of relief. At least you won't be expected to wear -

"Don't worry, other child!" Papyrus continues. "We did not want you to feel left out, so we made you one as well!"

He pulls the bundle out from behind his back to reveal another shirt. It has the same godawful logo, but this one reads, "Welcome! May I take your order?" You can just feel Frisk's eyes on your back, so you swallow your first thoughts.

And your second.

You decide to just channel your inner Frisk, or at least your inner terrible Frisk impression. "You didn't have to do that for me," you say. Then, because you can't quit while you're ahead, you keep talking. "Seriously, I'm pretty sure most of the customers will be able to understand me. This shirt is completely pointless, and will just make them think Frisk is lazy or something."

Look, you admitted it was a terrible impression from the beginning. You don't know what else Frisk wants from you.

But Papyrus is as oblivious as always, and Undyne objecting to rudeness would be hypocritical. "Ah, but this way you can switch jobs if you need to!" Papyrus says. "And if not, you can still have our beautiful logo adorning your chest!"

It's not worth arguing, so you take the shirt. Frisk takes theirs, and notices more writing on the back. You could probably read it if you squinted, but at this point you just want to forget that you're wearing such a monstrosity. "Speaking of jobs," you say, trying to sound nonchalant about the change in subject.

"That's the spirit!" Undyne says. "We figured that Frisk would take people to their seats and bring them their food, because most people are lame and wouldn't understand them. You get to take orders and check on people once the food is delivered!"

She says it like she's doing you a favor. All you can think is that they're actually relying on your ability to play nice with strangers. You're not sure what possessed them to do something that idiotic. Then again, they don't really have any other choices. You're honestly kind of impressed by their certainty that they can run a restaurant with only four employees, when you think about it. Then again, they have a talent for working under movie logic, and it worked in _Ratatouille_.

Right, your jobs. Looking at your torso again, you consider commenting on the lack of appropriate shirts for your other tasks. Then again, knowing these two they'd take it as a serious suggestion, and you don't know if you could take having to change between two of these abominations.

Frisk seems pleased with their jobs, at any rate, so at least there's that. They seem to have noticed you spacing out, and ask for a tour. They say it's so they can get used to the place before the customers start showing up, which is actually a reasonable point. More importantly, it will get you out of this conversation.

The restaurant is exactly what you'd expect. The diners eat in a room connected to the kitchen, the bathrooms are off to one side, the walls are covered with ridiculous pictures of bones and/or fish. There's a piano in a corner, and you wonder if Undyne really expects to have enough free time to play it between orders.

The kitchen itself is a little more interesting. You've never been in a restaurant kitchen before, and you're pleased to see that they have a full assortment of knives. You don't plan to need them, but it's always good to know where the nearest ones are. You're not sure what all their other utensils are, but a part of your brain supplies that you could use most of them as weapons if necessary.

The tour is soon over, for obvious reasons. You worry that you'll have to make more terrible small talk, but fortunately both of the restauranteurs seem eager to open. You're not sure who's going to come looking for spaghetti at eight in the morning, but at least if they're waiting for customers they'll be out of your way.

Undyne flips the "closed" sign with a flourish, and the Royal Restaurant is officially open for business.


	3. Chapter 3

In a shocking turn of events, the restaurant doesn't seem to be getting much business. Alphys bustled in shortly after opening, followed by Mettaton dragging Napstablook along. The three of them have occupied a table in the corner for the past hour or so, and you are doing your best to avoid eye contact. You already know them, so Frisk can't claim you're missing the point of this job, right?

Besides, Frisk seems to have them covered. Alphys decided to brave the spaghetti, and is now grinning in a slightly manic fashion that suggests that Papyrus was the one to prepare this particular dish. Mettaton and Napstablook have made the sensible decision of sticking with water, at least so far.

You're examining the wallpaper, trying to tune out Mettaton's complaints about the restaurant's lack of style. You kind of agree, but Mettaton would probably want the place to be pink and sparkly so you don't want to encourage him. His idea of playing Napstablook's music does have potential, though...

You've almost allowed yourself to be drawn into the conversation when the door chimes. Somehow, Undyne and Papyrus have actually attracted customers: a parent and their small child, each wearing rain boots with frog faces on them. Frisk runs over immediately to seat them, and you snort. Frisk has finally found someone shorter than they are!

Frisk shows them to their table, and you remember: you're going to have to take their order. This is fine. You can probably handle children, as long as they're not too loud or emotional. And that should be enough to make the parent like you, right?

Frisk seems to know what you're thinking, as usual. They catch your eye as they walk away from the table. "You've got this!" they sign as they walk away from the table. "Just compliment them or something."

Well, you've seen enough memes been to enough restaurants to know how this starts. "Hi, welcome to the Royal Restaurant!" you say with a smile. You hope it comes across as welcoming, but you're pretty sure your eyes say "kill me now".

There's a slight pause, and you worry that they can tell that you're having to think about your facial expression. Then you realize that you haven't finished your script. "May I take your order?" you say hastily.

You pull out a notepad and scribble their orders down, grateful for the excuse to avoid eye contact. "Okay, your food will be out in just a minute," you say. The child beams at you, and you beat a hasty retreat.

You're in the kitchen when you realize you totally forgot Frisk's advice. Well, whatever. You made it through the conversation without making an utter fool of yourself, at least. You don't even hate the customer; Frisk will be thrilled.

Frisk's the one who's supposed to bring the food out, but you don't want to face people again just yet, so you hang out in the kitchen. You enjoy watching Undyne cook. Her methods can be unorthodox, but she's so passionate about it that it's like watching a show. And the food always comes out surprisingly good, so it's not like you're going to complain.

Papyrus waits until Frisk takes the food away to approach you. "Undyne is such a great cook, isn't she? I can't wait to be as good as she is!"

Papyrus is actually a good chef in his own right, even if he still hasn't mastered spaghetti. You're not going to encourage him, though, so you don't say anything. He doesn't seem discouraged. "Can you believe we've already had two whole customers? It won't be long until we're famous, and rich, and even - popular! And you will be too, as a friend of the Great Papyrus!"

"As fun as that sounds," you say, "I should probably go check on our customers. We have to make sure they have the best possible experience, right?"

"Of course! After all, that is why we hired you," Papyrus says. You're not sure quite what he means by that, but he probably means well, so you decide to take it as a compliment. You'll have time to dissect it later.

You walk back to the customers' table, ignoring Alphys and her posse. They seem to be arguing about anime anyway, so. The actual customers seem cheerful enough. The child is swinging their legs back and forth, giving you an excellent view of their boots. Which reminds you... "I like your boots," you tell the child. Ha, look at that, Frisk. You're having a normal human conversation. With a five year old, but that still counts.

"I got them for my birthday!" the child says. They look pleased that you noticed, so you consider this a success.

"Anyway, I just wanted to check in on you."

The parent smiles politely. "We're doing fine, thank you. The food is good so far, and the atmosphere is unique."

You nod. "Good to hear. If you need anything, let me or Frisk know."

You're not quite sure what to do from there. You've never felt the need to watch what your waiters did when they weren't serving you, and there isn't anyone else to serve. So you fall back on your standard method of entertainment: annoy Frisk.

"I'm so done with this!" you say, leaning on them dramatically. "I complimented that kid's boots, that's enough for today. We can come back tomorrow when word might have actually spread."

Frisk shakes their finger at you like a teacher in some old cartoon. "Come on, Chara. You have your orders, you need to finish helping these people."

You squint at them. "Was that meant to be a pun? I don't know if it even counts as one. It was just bad."

Frisk shoves you, and you settle into amiable bickering. You've almost forgotten that you're technically at work when Frisk points to the table with your customers. Sure enough, the parent is trying to catch your attention, and you rush over.

"What's up?" you say, then suppress a wince. You should probably be a bit more formal in front of customers. This is all Frisk's fault for making you relax, clearly.

"We're ready for the check, please," the parent says. Right, those are things people need. Did Undyne and Papyrus think that far ahead?

Apparently so, thank goodness. You come back out with the check after only a moment of panic. Before long you've seen the customers out, the child still waving goodbye. Frisk gives you a thumbs up, and you roll your eyes at them. Honestly, you're not that bad. Or you are, but you don't need Frisk acknowledging it. You look down at the bill to distract yourself, at which point you notice the tip.

The 25% tip.

Oh.

Well, if you had managed to fool people into believing that you're pleasant and sociable, you'll take it. You can always use more money.


End file.
